Not Enough.

I wish it didn’t taste
so bitter on my tongue
I wish I didn’t waste
All the smiles proudly sung
I wish I deserved you
and could feel what I should feel
I wish I didn’t unnerve you
and could accept what is as real

I don’t want this pain
Nor should you grow within it
You shouldn’t know disdain
Or this home I’ve created in it
This roof is made of tomorrow
Of many promises broken
This bed holds cries of sorrow
And words that should never be spoken

I’m sorry I am who I am
And I can’t become un-me
I’m sorry I can’t program
A better life for you to see
I won’t make up false stories
because hope is an ugly affliction
I won’t fill you with glories
that show some shiny depiction

I will give you all that I hold
Which may be little, but it is true
Whatever you may be told
Please know, I love you
I wish those words held more
Or overshadowed the lacking of me
But I feel them to my core
And giving you more is my only plea.

I love you is not enough.

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